Psycho Chic

 Had some random chic text me today and wanted to hang out I figured what the hell so before I came home to take care of my son I met her after school and bitch was psycho. she was angry when i met her and she started yelling at me I finally asked her what her fuckin problem was and she said she didn't like me much and was dealing with alot of shit so I threw my drink I had been drinking on a bit on her and walked off.... mic drop. Ha! Then went home to my baby boy.

My Mom Died!!!

 I been crying all week and I know I should have posted this sooner. This is Jarrett my momma passed away. Honestly we been worried about her with dad dying and all she was more depressed than usual and was losing weight pretty rapidly. Think she slowly died of a broken heart cause the doctors said her heart just stopped. Like she was done with raising us and was ready to join dad again. So I'll be 18 next week so we are staying with my aunt for the week then we can be on our own in the house with no adult supervision. I know mom wanted me to keep up her blogging since so many followed her she said but I can't figure out how to see who is following. Anyways guess this will help with frustration at times and now that I miss her so much this way I feel a little closer to her. 

Jarrett Is A Natural Father

I'm so happy I made it to this moment my first grand child. I feel like I have had a good life I don't know how much longer I have in this world but so glad I had 2 beautiful boys and an amazing husband and a precious grandson. All what started from a dating add that Trevor asked me if I would go out with him. So in their fathers memory Jarrett decided to name Kellan after him with middle name of Trevor it was so sweet. I am so amazed this young man walking around the house is not the bad boy son that I had thought I had on my hands causing mischief more so than his brother has now stepped into the line of single father. The role looks good on him to. Look how happy he is with his cute baby boy. I feel like my family will be ok even if I'm not here oh how I love them.

Baby Kellan Is Born

 It happened Alejandra's water broke while she was cooking. We tried to talk her into letting us all join but she was so selfish she let Jarrett take her to the hospital but we got no good pictures because she would only let him in after the baby was born and her family which came to see her. Jarrett said she didn't even want to name him and didn't even hold him after he was born. Yes it was a little boy his name is Kellan. Anyways there was a proud daddy that came in after bringing his son home but before the baby was brought back Alejandra got checked out the hospital 2 days before. She ended up moving out of our house in the middle of the night she went back home and left a note to take care of the baby she just couldn't give her life up to raise a child so young in life. So Jarrett has to get with a lawyer and have all rights stripped of her so she can't take his child away and its gonna be a long road but I'm going to put extra money aside to be left to him to raise the little one if something happens to me. 

Almost Time For The Baby

 Sadly my sweet Trevor did not get to see his grandchild brought into this world but this is poor Alejandra in her third trimester. She is so lucky she didn't get  as big as me and they already told the baby is healthy but she told them she never wanted to know the sex but I feel like its because she plans to give this child up and we are prepared to grab custody if she does. She is so detached from us now in her last trimester and doesn't even want Jarrett to touch her. I honestly hope one day he finds someone who loves him the right way so he knows what its like to have the having a baby experience right. I noticed a few times her looking at adoption sites is another reason I feel like she doesn't want this no matter how much counseling she has. I'm gonna start teaching Jarrett to write where I leave off I think this blogging outlet would be helpful for him in his future challenges.  

My Best Friend Died Today!

 The last day I talked to my best friend I had no clue would be my last. We had him taken to the doctor and they told us he had pneumonia and they put him on medicines which stopped the coughing of blood but he never seemed to get any better. Then just today he laid down on the flood cause he said his chest was so heavy and died. They said the inflammation in his lungs just wasn't going down fast enough from the meds that he drowned in his own fluid. My best friend died today and I'm completely beside myself been crying in bed ever since.

Getting Closer To Baby Due Date

My sweet son Jarrett has been doing so much for Alejandra to make her feel as comfy as she can in her pregnancy but I really hope its hormones because she really has been bitchy to him and snubbing him whenever he tries to help. She has been going to counseling to deal with how she is feeling but so far only the family and Jarrett are happy about the upcoming baby. She bites his head off if he even mentions baby names or decorating for the baby. I feel like she is living in denial I mean I was lucky when I had my first baby I wasn't so young but this is why I moved her in thinking with all of us being so supportive she would be happier but she is so miserable all the time with all of us including herself. 

Alot Has Been Going On In My Household

 Well let me tell you what's been going on in my life. Well Trevor retired and I finally made to the top of the lawyer list as a prosecutor I do alot of good and don't plan to give that up now. However Trevor's health hasn't been so good. He has been recently coughing up blood we have him set up for a doctors appointment next week. They said he shouldn't need to go to the hospital unless he starts like vomiting blood but he isn't doing that thankfully. We just found out that Adrien is gay he tried to date his friend Alejandra whos a girl and that failed they parted on friends only. Then Ale started dating Jarrett and although they have been so cute together they are expecting a child together. We moved her into the home because honestly her family disowned her getting pregnant so young, and she is already struggling as it is with the fact she don't want the baby she wants to go to college. Weirdly enough I'm seriously surprised but Jarrett has been humming baby songs and picking up cute baby clothes when we are out at the store looking at them. He never talks about what he wants from his future besides be a artist but maybe being a dad could calm him down to be the better man that me and Trevor knows he can be. 

My Teenage Boys!

 here are my boys they have gotten so big they are still my babies though <3 

                                                                            Adrien

                                                                           Jarrett

My Life Slowly Comes To A End

 Well its happened i finally made it to a career in prosecutor i always knew i would. however I'm now much older than i wanted to be my boys are getting ready to turn 16 which i will post pics of them at their party coming up. as for me and Trevor we have stayed so much in love this whole time. he is my world and always will be. I'm so thankful for the life i have gotten to live with him. we have 2 wonderful sons together and I have a great career. Trevor eventually retired we agreed him being out on the streets with his arthritis wasn't doing him any good. plus the doctors think its time for  him to turn in the badge as well. We finally got our loan paid off that paid for this house we live in after all this time. took us long enough but at least I know if either boy wants to or both want to live here when we are gone they can free of charge. I feel like being a lawyer i should know better that i really should write up a will cause i wont be around for ever and neither will Trevor. anyways look at these cute pics i had Adrien take the other day of Trevor being frisky lol. 

Christmas With The Family

 Its now christmas and a perfect holiday indeed i suck at cooking for it but my family was happy in the end. So Jarrett got a nintendo switch and Adrien a ps4 although i feel like that was going to help Jarrett better cause Adrien seems more into science things like his new science kit he got he can't stop playing with. Jarrett also got a art kit so he can draw and such and Adrien got a few toy robots. I think he is smart enough he will grow up to be a robot creator that would be cool at least. Where Jarrett is definitely your entertainment child. It is probably why they play together but they have to play with someone else to get fulfillment in what they love to do. 

My Boys Turned 8 Today

 I know I don't keep up like I should but so much has been going on in my world. My boys just turned 8 and they are getting big. I just turned 33 and I'm really feeling it. I'm still trying to get my law career mastered I'm a paralegal technically for now but I have learned so much and my Trevor he is a detective but he wants to retire as chief one day. Anyways wanted to share my beautiful sons with you they really are my world.

                                                                         Adrien

                                                                         Jarrett

aren't they so handsome. Jarrett I think is gonna grow up being a little ladies man I mean look at that smirk. My innocent little Adrien though I swear he is gonna melt hearts but he will be the more genuine one I'm sure.

Birthday Boys

 My little boys are getting so big. They are now 3 years old and starting to babble and try to walk. I took them to the mall and got their pics done as you see below to see how much they have grown. Anyways alots happened since I last wrote. So as you know we have yet to get married yet cause we I bought this sweater in the mail for Trevor and with the sweater I got a bad omen in the mail saying if we were to get married in the next 2 years we would be cursed to break up. Well we didn't want to take any chances but thankfully this week coming up we are going to finally do it. We are just gonna get married at the justice of the peace though since its been such a long time coming. As far as I finally go in for my surgery tomorrow for the sterilization with everything happening and all it took us a big to even be able to afford it and even with that we are barely scraping by but its better than not and ending up with another child we can't afford. Anyways that's my update and here is my beautiful boys getting bigger everyday.

Happy Birthday Jarrett & Adrien

                                                                              Adrien

                                                                           Jarrett

Miscarried My Third Child.

 So some time has passed and my little boys are starting to get pretty big. Well I started back on the pill cause I just didn't want any more children actually we been talking about me getting sterilized now cause we really don't want anymore, with the 2 that are a handful and then our careers. Well I went to the doctor to talk to them about it and they have to check first well I been on the pill I guess a few weeks but somehow I still got pregnant again. They told me it was pretty early on like a week maybe into my pregnancy. After a few days of getting that news and being depressed on what to do next. I mean all this time I'm taking out I will surely lose my job soon as well as we can't afford another child at the moment. Well after a few days I woke up cramping and in a puddle of blood. Trevor rushed me to the hospital and I miscarried the little one. I have been depressed by it cause it was still our child and I think once I can get past the sadness I will be grateful in the end that my body couldn't handle another pregnancy. They told me we need to be extra careful cause I have to now wait 4 weeks before my body is healed enough to get the sterilization that we decided was for the best. Anyways that's been the last few weeks for me but I think I might go wedding dress shopping with my friend this weekend it might help me get this off my mind plus we are getting married soon anyways.

My Baby Boys

 My sweet boys beautiful birth certificates and foot prints from the hospital.

The Babies Are Here!!!

 I went into labor when I least expected when Trevor was getting ready to head to work. Instead we went to the hospital. I was in labor 3 hours before these bundles of joy came into the world. Their names are Adrien & Jarrett Lawson. These pics are from the hospital to our home to the first time I held our babies in the hospital to at home breastfeeding the first time. Funniest thing is we had to get rid of the cribs because they would cry if they weren't laying in the same crib with each other. So we now have them in one. They really are twins they want to be that close to one another. They said they would mail me the birth certificate in a few days.